


Forget Me Not

by The_Ash_Phoenix_24



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Cora Hale & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Derek Hale & Jordan Parrish Friendship, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Hurt Isaac, Hurt Stiles, Isaac Lahey & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, M/M, Mates Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Minor Original Character(s), Oblivious Stiles, Past Kate Argent/Derek Hale, Possessive Derek Hale, Pregnant Stiles, Protective Derek Hale, Sad Isaac, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Stiles Has Panic Attacks, Stiles Leaves Beacon Hills, Stiles Stilinski & Jackson Whittemore Friendship, The Hale Pack - Freeform, Top Derek Hale/Bottom Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2018-10-28 00:45:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10820187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Ash_Phoenix_24/pseuds/The_Ash_Phoenix_24
Summary: When Stiles Stilinski finds out he is pregnant with Derek Hale's cubs. He has no choice but to leave Beacon Hills and start a new life away from the Alpha who has made it clear how he feels about him. While Derek has been denying his mating bond to Stiles, he is distraught when he learns the real reason behind Stiles departure. With Stiles nowhere to be found, Derek begins a spiral of self-loathing and blaming. Having pushed away from the one person that was meant for him.





	1. Exit Strategy

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this I wrote mainly because I was reading something and then the idea came to me. Stiles has dealt with so much of Derek's shit that this time Stiles can't so he decides Beacon Hills is not for him anymore. I hope you enjoy this because I have many ideas.

Stiles smiled at his friends as they all drank in celebration of something, something he had invented and Lydia had forced them all to attend at the nearest bar and act like they wanted to be there. He hadn’t told them why he had insisted on hanging out with them, he thought maybe it wouldn’t be right to leave such a burden on them and face their Alpha the next morning. Stiles thought of his friends, he knew deep down he would miss them more than anything and he would probably miss Derek Hale as well but he couldn’t stay. He wanted to leave, try and regain whatever strength he had lost ever since he had found out that he had been carrying. He didn’t need the stress of someone who hated him to hover over him and glare daggers at him for a mistake. Stiles always referred to the one night stand he had with Alpha Derek Hale a mistake he would forever have to deal with since the man practically hated him and Stiles had learned to get with the program which had been the reason as to why said man was not invited.

Parrish and Chris had taken him somewhere which meant he wouldn’t have eyes judging him like that, it hurt for Stiles to have to leave his friends behind without reason or warning but he knew it was for the best. He couldn’t drag them with him. It had been enough that his father, Sherriff Stilinski had agreed to take him to his cousin so he could finish his pregnancy there and since said cousin knew about werewolves and the supernatural, it was easy for them. Stiles loved his cousin and the mere fact that they both were the same in some way made it a bonus.

He smiled at his friends and now former pack mates because the moment he left Beacon Hills, he was no longer pack but then again he had never been pack anyway so cutting ties seemed to come naturally to him. He wanted to take care and protect his children; he couldn’t stand Derek’s constant death threats and such. Not anymore, he had made a decision. His children would grow up to a loving father and a Stilinski family that loved and adored them more than anything. He had to put their life before his own. One night with Derek freaking Hale and he had come out pregnant. The universe really must hate him, there had been moments he had thought of abortion but he knew that he would never be able to live with himself if he ever killed innocent children so he decided to keep them. Raise them whatever way he could, he was a loving person and he knew he would love his children with everything he had in him.

He had arranged to leave that same night, his father had helped him pack everything he needed and his electronics which were important to him. He didn’t want to disinherit his friends so he had decided that he would keep his phone number the same but for the next week or so he would switch it off because the moment everyone found out that he had left, a Calvary would be sent and phones would be ringing non-stop.

Stiles took out his camera and took lots of pictures of his friends and some of their night, he wanted to remember them all and he wanted to remember what it was like. He knew that Isaac and Scott would be greatly affected by his sudden departure but he also knew that they would forgive him.

Stiles sat down beside Lydia as the others danced to the music “You know, Lyds. You’re one of my best friends. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you” He said as he gave her a smile. The woman already knew something was off with him, Stiles could tell even when she didn’t need to tell him but she would realize it too late and probably kick herself after.

Lydia smiled “You’ll always need me, Stiles.”

Stiles knew that was true, Lydia who he had thought that was his forever had ended up one of the closest people in the entire world. He had finally gotten some kind of friendship with the beauty and now he was leaving her behind, there were times when she scared him. She was a bitch in heels but lovable at times.

“Would you promise me something?” He looked at her seriously.

Lydia turned her head and nodded “Sure”

“Take care of Isaac for me, okay? I worry about him sometimes” The words hurt just to get them out. He was leaving Isaac behind and he couldn’t even explain this, he wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

Lydia studied his face for a second before she shrugged “Okay. I’ll treat him like his my own son”

Stiles knew that Lydia meant it even though she didn’t understand what he was asking, he trusted Lydia more than anything “Thank you” He wrapped her in a tight hug inhaling her scent for the last time. He wished things had been different but there was no such thing; turn back the clock to that night.

As they both laughed and enjoyed each other’s company, the unsuspecting friends flocked in seating at their respective seats. They all seemed pretty out of it, Erica had been with Boyd but she looked worse for wear which meant that it was time they all went home. Scott needed to take Allison back home and into her own bed for the night, the hunter girl looked exhausted and drunk. They all were legal to drink but it always seemed different and such.

Stiles hadn’t drunk one drink but instead decided on a soda or a drink without the actual alcohol in it which wasn’t weird for him, everyone knew that he didn’t like drinking as much but when he did drink he was quite different.

As they all left, Stiles had hugged each and every one of them even Boyd and Jackson before he hopped into his Jeep and drove back home. He could feel the tears threatening to get out but he controlled himself, he convinced himself that he was doing the right thing. Derek would never want anything to do with the children so he would take care of them on his own.

When he returned home, his father had already put the bags in the car. Stiles had taken one last look at his room, all the memories, the sad and the good times. He had locked the window because now there was no reason, his father would be alone. It hurt him to think about that but both he and his father had decided it was for the best and he would come visit. As they drove past the ‘Welcome to Beacon Hills’ sign, Stiles smiled sadly “Goodbye, Beacon Hills”


	2. Soul Survivor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stiles Stilinski finds out he is pregnant with Derek Hale's cubs. He has no choice but to leave Beacon Hills and start a new life away from the Alpha who has made it clear how he feels about him. While Derek has been denying his mating bond to Stiles, he is distraught when he learns the real reason behind Stiles departure. With Stiles nowhere to be found, Derek begins a spiral of self-loathing and blaming. Having pushed away from the one person that was meant for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm trying to actually make this the way that I planned, I tried to post it a few days ago but for some reason I keep on trying to convince myself of its worth because when I read my own work I tend to see a lot of holes so for that I'm really sorry. Also with my other stories 'Mine Would Be You' and 'Paint It Black' I'm trying to actually get it all done. Thank you all to everyone who has read and reviewed and given me encouragement. You're all awesome. I needed to add the Hale Pack in this chapter it felt right.

 Beacon Hills seemed like a dream to Stiles Stilinski as he settled into his new home and new friends, it had turned out that not only had his friends who skyped with came to greet him but they had arranged to have a little sleepover so they could all catch-up and get to know each other again. For Stiles this idea made his heart jump into unbelievable happiness, he was finally happy and it had only taken him to leave the town he had called home to find that certain happiness. Although it wasn’t the same, he accepted it.

Nessa who had been his childhood friend whenever he visited his cousin had taken it upon herself to make sure that he felt at home, she had gone to great lengths to make sure that all of his favorites were there and all the food. Nyx as he had gotten to call her, she seemed happier and that alone made Stiles happy, there wasn’t any kind of hate between them. They always settled their small differences without an actual fight, Nyx who had gotten to become family in the Stilinski household. The fearless ink biker girl, the one with the smile that could kill and then there was Logan, his kindness always made Stiles happy to be around him. He was the reason for his happiness in many times, their group Skype call had always left him crying with happy tears and laughter that never seemed to stop.

Nyx came out of the kitchen holding a beer and a soda for Stiles “So, baby. You wanna tell me what happened?” She sat down bracing herself for whatever her friend would tell her.

Stiles looked at her shocked, he had known her bluntness “Footnotes I might have feelings for the father but since he has told me how much he basically hates me and the threats on my life. When we slept together, I found out I was prego so I did the next best thing. Packed up and left. I’m tired, Nyx. I was just tired.” He could feel the tears fall from his eyes.

******

“Guys, I can’t find Stiles” Scott walked into the Hale House and into the living room “Lydia, have you spoken to him this morning?”

The banshee shook her head “The last time I spoke with him was last night. He was acting strange too. I just thought it was Stiles being Stiles. Come to think of it, he made me promise something.”

By now the entire pack had been listening in quite attentively, worry washed over them like a flood “What kind of promise, Lydia?” Scott asked her.

“It’s personal, Scott McCall and all of you.” She said trying not to look too obvious as worry showed on her face “Did you talk to his dad?”

Scott nodded taking the seat beside Allison “He won’t tell me. He just said Stiles was fine and not in any kind of danger and is not dead somewhere. He’s hiding something”

“Did you go to his house? Maybe he’s sleeping” The moment Erica had said that even she couldn’t believe it.

Scott huffed “Window’s locked. Stiles’ window is never locked. He’s not there. I’m gonna try to call him again”

Danny walked into the room holding a bottle of water “Again?”

“He turned off his phone. I’ve been trying all morning.” Scott watched Danny sit beside Ethan who seemed more interested in the Stiles problem “It just goes straight to voicemail.”

Lydia gasped suddenly remembering the promise she had made to Stiles “Isaac, we should talk. Let’s go get coffee. I’m thirsty. Come on, wolfy.” She stood up taking Isaac with her, clutching her hand over his arm “Stiles is fine. I’m sure of it“

*****

The pain hadn’t vanished, the pain that seemed to be a constant reminder of what he had left behind. He was tormented by dreams he called nightmares, every single night they’d creep up on him in his dreams and from then on, he would find himself unable to sleep. The pain inside his heart yearned for something he couldn’t give, Beacon Hills had become his past and perhaps in the future, he would return again but he couldn’t see that happening anytime soon. He wasn’t strong enough, he had fought with creatures that had come for his town and had sacrificed so much for the safety of those he loved but when it came to it, he knew that no matter what he did, he could never be part of what his friends were. He was and would always be alone, he had accepted that but remaining human had been his choice and being human for him was what he valued. He knew his feelings for Derek wouldn’t ever leave but he could try and move on no matter how hard it would be however every single time he tried to think of moving on something in his heart had stopped him, a great pain like something holding back.

It had been three weeks since he had left home, still, his phone switched off but he knew that the moment he switched it on he would be bombarded with messages and worries and all kinds of things. He could feel Scott’ worry despite the fact that he wasn’t in Beacon Hills, he could feel Isaac’s constant sadness and worry but he knew that he could trust Lydia to take care of Isaac for him. He trusted her and her in return but this, this was different and he knew it. He had left but never explained why; he knew this was the best way. Wolves could never lie to their Alpha’s, they’d snitch the moment the question was asked and Stiles wasn’t ready to be found or assaulted by Derek’s constant glares of daggers.  He had thought of calling Isaac and Scott but he couldn’t put them in that situation, he loved them more than anything but he loved his little bundles a lot more.

In truth, Stiles was scared and afraid all in one that having his two friends Nyx and Logan around him made him less afraid, he knew they would be there for him whenever he needed them hell they’d move in if he asked them to. They had become a lot closer than they had ever been; both friends had become a constant presence in his home. They always slept over whenever it got too late which had become quite often and his cousin never once kicked them out. Stiles knew that he understood the closeness of friends and Stiles needed friends more than anything. Nyx had become quite overprotective whenever it came to him and the cubs; she had assigned Logan to be the bodyguard. There was nothing scarier than a pissed off Nyx, the bitch with an attitude who happened to be the tattoo artist with needles. She who always reminded him of Lydia Martin, the love between them would fly if not kill each other. He knew that the pack would have helped him with the cubs but then he’d have to see Derek there and that for him wouldn’t do, he accepted the unusual attraction he had to the Alpha.

He wished that someday they would meet; they would become friends and maybe not hate each other. Stiles turned around in his bed looking at the face that greeted him, Nyx had refused to leave and instead had insisted she sleep over and always it was in Stiles’ room. She wanted him safe, the woman would claw her way out of any trouble if he had ever gotten himself in trouble.

“Go to bed, baby. I’m here. “Nyx said as her eyes sleepily opened “You’ll always be safe with me around, Genim. Always” she flashed him a smile and with that, his eyes closed and somehow for the first time since the nightmares, he slept peacefully with Nyx by his side.

 


	3. The Torn Identity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stiles Stilinski finds out he is pregnant with Derek Hale's cubs. He has no choice but to leave Beacon Hills and start a new life away from the Alpha who has made it clear how he feels about him. While Derek has been denying his mating bond to Stiles, he is distraught when he learns the real reason behind Stiles departure. With Stiles nowhere to be found, Derek begins a spiral of self-loathing and blaming. Having pushed away from the one person that was meant for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honest to God, it really took me a while to be able to tap into Derek Hale mainly because I needed him to feel and not be the bad guy. It's hard trying to tap into his person but it was fun. I really, really hope that you guys like it.

He still couldn’t believe it, the world had stopped for him causing his world to crumble around him. He had lost everything again; he had lost the one person that he knew as his. It wasn’t fair but then again he hadn’t been fair to him from the beginning, Derek had never once been honest when it came to his true relationship with Stiles and now there he was unable to control himself. He should have come clean from the beginning, he should have told him everything and more but now it was too late. Stiles had left him which meant his life was worth nothing without his mate by his side, the pain surged through his heart the memories still there fresh in his mind. He was never going to be able to live without his anchor. He remembered the time he had first met Siles and his sweet scent, he would never forget the joy of his wolf when he had found his other half. The celebration of finally finding the one that was meant for him and only him. It hurt him to think of how much he would never experience that, it hurt to think of all the things he had done to his mate all in the name of protecting him and pushing him away.

The words still echoed in his mind, the realization of finally having felt the pain of losing the one he never thought he’d ever lose. He blamed himself for what had happened; it was his fault he should have never ever left him after their night together. He should have stayed, he should have done things differently but he couldn’t go back in the past and change it. He had no other way, he wanted to find him to try and make things right. He had come back from the night out with his friends only to come to a nightmare.

“ _He’s gone_ ” Scott’s words echoed.

He had bolted out of the house so fast he could have sprinted out of there, he couldn’t believe what he heard but then the faces of the pack told him it was true but he couldn’t believe it, not when he had just been gone for a few hours. He had raced to Stiles’ house so fast he had no idea how he had gotten there, he had knocked and tried the window but no one was home. There were no one inside and the room that was once his mate’ felt empty.

Derek who had been the one who held it together for once couldn’t hold it together; he couldn’t stay strong when everything else around him played against him. He wasn’t going to survive long that he knew his wolf would never accept his mate’ disappearance. It would climb the walls and swallow him whole. Beacon Hills the town he had been born in and lost everything twice, all of a sudden it felt like a curse. It felt like he would never be happy but then again it was never Beacon Hill’s fault but his own, he had become his own worst enemy and every single time when he could have told Stiles everything he had chickened out as usual. The worst things had watched his mate do had always become his best, Stiles who had saved and sacrificed so much for them all and now he had vanished on them all. Derek felt for Isaac mainly because the young wolf had gotten close to his mate, the wolf depended on his mate whenever he wanted to talk or just hang out.

Derek walked into the Hale House, he thanked the Gods that everyone had gone out somewhere but when he caught a few heartbeats he sighed as he walked into the kitchen determined to get some water and maybe plan a way for him to find his mate. Derek couldn’t live without him, he wouldn’t be able to even if he wanted to.

As he turned around from the fridge he was met with Jordan Parrish’s gaze, the mate of Lydia Martin the banshee that everyone but him feared “Don’t tell me this is some pep talk” Derek said leaning against the counter looking at his friend.

Jordan laughed as he shook his head, in truth the Hellhound felt for his friend and most importantly knew how it was to not be in constant contact with one’s mate “No, we’re going to just sit and drink as many beers as we can.” He said as he placed two six packs of beer on the counter “Everyone’s not sure how you’ll be these next couple of days so you’re stuck with me” Jordan said.

Derek took a sip off his water eyeing the beers which would do nothing for him but drinking his sorrows away felt like the right ‘human’ thing to do despite them both being far from humanity “He’s really gone. I can’t feel him as much anymore” he said.

“He’s not dead, Derek. You just have to find a way to find him and make things right.” Jordan said taking a sip from the first beer “Something you should have done a long time ago. You should have told him the truth.”

Derek sighed heavily knowing his friend would only tell him the truth even when it hurt to listen, he valued the friendship he had with Parrish “When we met he was sixteen. How could I have told him the truth?”

Jordan looked at Derek for what seemed like forever until he broke the silence “When he turned eighteen, you could have told him then. You don’t get it, do you? You had so many chances to tell him and so many times he saved your Pack and risked his life for one of you and not once did you thank him. You pretended like he didn’t exist, Derek. You told him he wasn’t Pack and you pushed him away. You made this happen and now you need to fix it and bring him home.” Jordan’s words rung true, he had done all those things and more “You know you’re my friend, buddy but you also know I would never deceive you.” Jordan nodded at his friend, it had taken a while for him and Derek to become friends but once they had everything had gone smoothly after. Jordan who had to endure hours of a worried Lydia and the private sobs of his mate couldn’t take it.

He knew the pain, the entire pack knew it. Jordan however also knew that it wasn’t only Derek that felt the loss of their Pack Mom, it was everyone especially Isaac who had grown close to Lydia. Lydia had told him in secret of the promise she had made to Stiles, there had been some part of Jordan that made him blame himself for the departure of Derek’s mate. Maybe if they hadn’t dragged Derek away, maybe just maybe he would have been able to convince him to stay. Maybe Stiles would have finally made Derek admit the truth. Jordan knew that the only way to bring him back was Derek to man up and do what was right. Jordan who had found out that he was a Hellhound had been accepted into the pack and had become a good friend of the Alpha's, he and Chris who tried to get him to try and live instead of dwelling in the past. Jordan owed a lot to his mate for her love but he wanted Derek to feel the love of a mate as well, he wanted his friend to open his eyes and realize how much he needed his mate. 

 


	4. From Fear to Eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stiles Stilinski finds out he is pregnant with Derek Hale's cubs. He has no choice but to leave Beacon Hills and start a new life away from the Alpha who has made it clear how he feels about him. While Derek has been denying his mating bond to Stiles, he is distraught when he learns the real reason behind Stiles departure. With Stiles nowhere to be found, Derek begins a spiral of self-loathing and blaming. Having pushed away from the one person that was meant for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is yet another chapter. I like this chapter however not without some worries mainly because I just hope it as perfect as I think it is in my head. This is another Derek Hale angst and believe you, me it took a lot of YouTube music videos to take me to this place :). So I hope you guys like it :).

Pushing people away and being lonely had always worked for Derek Hale, he had kept people at an arm’s length and never allowed them in but when he had met Stiles Stilinski that had changed, the one brave human who had sacrificed mostly out of them all and he had vanished from their world just like that. He had left them with questions and no answers, for so long denying the bond between him and Stiles had come naturally to him but he never thought he would ever leave, denying himself a happy ending had been something of a norm for him. The human who took most of his crap and always had a comment whenever Derek spoke and had generally stood up to him when it came to it and the one who took care of the pack whenever he couldn’t, had left Beacon Hills. The only one person who knew how to handle him…his other half. Derek for someone who never cried or spilled tears for anything except when he had lost his family in the fire for once in his life since then felt tears building in his eyes; he breathed deeply trying to contain them. Both his wolf and himself hurt, their heart bled for the loss.

Three weeks and none of them had gotten an answer from the Sheriff as to his son’s whereabouts, he had kept mom and then Derek had noticed the change in Lydia and Isaac, Lydia had been fussing more about Isaac than anyone else, she spent more time with him than the girls and Isaac hardly ever left Lydia’s side. Derek had never felt more alone than he was, he had pushed away the one person he hoped he would never lose, granted he had never once been appreciative of the things that Stiles had done for his pack but now that all came back to bite him. He missed him, he missed having him close and mostly he missed his mate. He knew that he hadn’t been eating, he had been trying his best to try and die quietly but his pack wouldn’t allow that. They had called either Chris or Parrish whenever the tough got going for him. He thanked the gods that he had betas and enforcer who could take over while he was indisposed with his trouble. He trusted both Scott and Boyd with Jackson as the enforcer; he knew that things would go accordingly.

Derek knew that the pack could feel what he was going through; he knew they all understood but no one had been more concerned than Scott McCall which had surprised him but then Stiles was also his best friend and the beta felt the pain. Derek’s entire world had begun to crumble around him, he couldn’t eat and sleeping had become a challenge because the more he thought about his mate the more he blamed himself, the more he drowned in his own stupidity and river of darkness. He could have told Stiles how much he meant to him, he could have told him how much having him around affected him and how much he would slowly die inside if for any other reason he would die. Derek couldn’t think of the pain of losing Stiles, he had pushed it to the back of his mind but now there he sat in his solitude unable to live without the one that could make him truly happy. He knew he was slowly but surely withering away like the wind, every Alpha needed their mate. That bond between Alpha and mate made the pack strong and the pack fed from it.

The door cranked open, he hadn’t left the room in more than a few days and he knew he pack had been getting anxious “Derek, I’m worried about you. We’re all worried about you.” the voice that belonged to his sister, Cora reached his ears “You need to fix whatever it you broke. We’re all bummed out and we all take our cue from you” Cora sat on the chair across from Derek’s study. She noticed the maps that were on the table “Come on, bro. Talk to me” She said looking at him hopefully.

Derek looked at her; he didn’t know where to start “I pushed him away, Cora. I pushed him away. I can’t live without him, I can’t live without my mate” He had been holding it in for so long but with his sister he couldn’t hold it in anymore “I’m screwed. I didn’t even tell him how important he is to me. I let him walk away” Derek buried his hands in his hands in pain with the same tears threatening to burst out.

Cora breathed in all that his brother told him, they all had known the special bond between her brother and Stiles but neither of them had the guts to let both Alpha and their Pack Mom know “You didn’t let him walk away, Derek. You didn’t know. None of us knew but if you knew what would you done? Would you have stopped him?” Cora needed to know, she needed to know that this time he could finally come clean with Stiles without the stubbornness and the lack of actual talking minus him trying to make Stiles riled up that he could finally do the right thing “Derek, we’re all worried about him. Hell, we’ve been pinning for weeks and none of us can do anything because we’re lost without him and without you. He was the glue that held us all together” She wanted to drill that into his head. No matter what her brother did, Cora and the pack knew that both Derek and Stiles needed each other “You’re not the only one that misses him. Isaac worst of all.” Cora Knew the close relationship the curled hair boy had with their Pack Mom but ever since he had left the spark Isaac had, had somehow been fading in a way.

Derek shrugged he would have never let him leave “I would have stopped him in a heartbeat, Cora. He’s my mate for god’s sake. How can an Alpha survive without his mate close by?” Derek finally looked at his sister, for so long having denied what he felt , he couldn’t do it any longer he needed to find Stiles wherever he was in the world “Cora, I’ll never survive without him. I spent so many years denying my feelings for him. How can I forgive myself for everything I’ve done to him? What if he doesn’t want to come back? What if ―” Derek couldn’t finish that sentence, he couldn’t think like that. He refused to let himself think like that.

Cora nodded, being Derek Hale’s sister and Alpha’s sister had made her into the one person other than Stiles who could actually get edge ways with her brother plus right now she had drawn the shortest straw and that meant having to face the beast which they called the Alpha. She knew that Stiles didn’t know Derek’s true feelings for him hence why he had left but Cora and the others knew in their hearts that if he would have known Stiles would have never left them and especially the man he loved. Cora had become friends with Stiles and loved him, she loved the way he was and the sarcasm was one of her favorites as well as being overprotective towards him. She greatly missed him, he was the one who could get her out of her funk most times, he had often baked her favorites whenever she had been upset or needed comfort baked goods and them making jokes were a thing between them. Stiles meant a lot to each and every single one of them, they were both his and Derek’s children. They couldn’t lose them, it hurt to think that he had abandoned them but in truth none of them blamed Stiles instead they only wanted him back. They wanted to feel the closeness and the love that came from the Alpha-mate.

She breathed "You'll find him, brother. There are no what if's here, you need to understand that we need you. Your mate needs you wherever he is and when you find him. You'll tell him everything, you'll grovel if you must and you'll beg because you need and love him. You've always loved him." He looked at her brother sympathetically "You will survive because we believe you'll find him. He will help you forgive yourself because that's what Stiles does...he helps us heal from our wounds, he helped me and he is still helping me. Isaac is still healing too much like all of us. With him coming back depends on you...like I said beg and grovel and tell him everything and if he gets mad because he will get mad. Take it but be there and don't leave him alone because being mated means married for life. You will need to know how to handle an angry, mad and upset and emotional Stiles. You'll need to be patient and also considerate of his feelings. It might take awhile for him to forgive you but knowing you are there will help but also knowing how you truly feel might help a lot too." 

Most would never understood the true bond between Derek and Stiles but the pack did, all of those who had mates understood the pain of losing a mate even if they left for a few days. Cora wanted the best for her brother and she knew that was Stiles Stilinski and wherever he was or whichever hell he was in, they would get him back so Derek can fix what he broke between them. Cora couldn’t blame Stiles though; she couldn’t put it all on him because she knew what kind of person her brother was, she knew that he often placed the weight of the world on his shoulders. He only thought he was protecting Stiles by staying away from him. She knew that whatever reason Stiles had of leaving had been impacted by Derek one way or another.

She however couldn’t believe the man who sat across from her, she couldn’t recognize her brother. The worry and the pain on his face evident, it was true an Alpha couldn’t live without their mates nearby and with Stiles having left so sudden and without telling anyone meant Derek was screwed if he didn’t find him before his wolf literally took over from him.

There was a knock on the door which brought both Hale’s out of their thoughts, when Scott stood there with Deaton. Derek nodded as they all walked into the living room full of the pack. The sight of their Alpha’s state brought great pain upon them all. Everyone looked at Deaton once they all took their seats “Have you all found Stiles yet?” Deaton asked noting the silence taking that as a no, he had been kept in the loop the moment the brave human had vanished from Beacon Hills overnight but since practically the entire pack had visited him trying to find something to find Stiles he wanted to help knowing the danger of an Alpha such as Derek Hale “I may have found a way”

Derek looked hopeful for the first time in weeks, he gripped the chair he sat on “How?” He asked looking at the vet.

Deaton looked around, he had spoken with Sheriff Stilinski about Stiles but he had been sworn to secrecy by the Sheriff so he couldn’t reveal anything but he could help Alpha Hale find his mate “Your bond can help you find him. You can use that bond to find him anywhere in the world, Alpha Hale.” Deaton continued to talk before the pack could flood him with questions “Your wolf can track him; you can bring him back home. You and Stiles have a very special and rare bond; it’s strong and powerful unlike any other. Your wolf knows something is wrong because the scent of your mate is faint and soon enough the animal in you won’t like that.” He finished.

Derek nodded but blamed himself he should have known this, he should have thought of the bond he had with his mate and found him sooner but no he had fallen into a deep state of resentment and blame instead. Derek couldn’t have thought straight even if he had tried, it had become hard ever since the day he had found out Stiles had gone. Honestly the only thing he remembered had been Parrish talking some sense into him and then the beers that followed despite them doing nothing for him.

Deaton clasped his hands together “The bond you two have can take you to him, he is as lost as you are without him despite the fact that he isn’t aware of the bond and his place in the pack.” Deaton who had always admired the bravery of Alpha Hale’s mate felt obliged to help mend the hearts of the pack “It is of utter urgency that you find him. He needs you now more than ever” He looked at the pack “He will need you all” He said.

 


	5. Love Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stiles Stilinski finds out he is pregnant with Derek Hale's cubs. He has no choice but to leave Beacon Hills and start a new life away from the Alpha who has made it clear how he feels about him. While Derek has been denying his mating bond to Stiles, he is distraught when he learns the real reason behind Stiles departure. With Stiles nowhere to be found, Derek begins a spiral of self-loathing and blaming. Having pushed away from the one person that was meant for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun for me to write because I wanted Derek to see the people who have been there for his mate more than he has, I needed him to feel the emotions that ran through and the fact that these two people are so happy that they'd do anything to make sure their Genim was okay. Yes, yes, Nyx is sort of like a mother hen when it comes to her Genim. I needed Derek to understand that while he suffered, Stiles wasn't really aware and that him pushing Stiles away wasn't a good idea in the first place. Stiles has so much he will still go through during his expectancy and he will need Derek and the pack but right now he needed to get away. He needed to feel loved, wanted and needed unlike what Derek was doing before and while it took Stiles for Derek to realize what was important. He still needs to come clean to said mate and endure any pain will follow and do not worry next chapter the revelation is coming. 
> 
> I also wanted to say thank you to every single one of you guys for your support and kudos and comments. I love hearing everything and I do love sterek so damn much it should be a crime lol :P. I'm really happy that you guys love this story as much as I do because it's so special to me and so many many things are still to happen. It's Beacon Hills, after all, something is going to happen and such. I also will explore the relationship between Stiles and Isaac since the new development, we wouldn't want Stiles' first baby to feel left out now, wouldn't we? :)

He hadn’t ever had this much quite in his entire life since the supernatural had come flooding in Beacon Hills, he had had to save his friends over and over again but this what Stiles had was different. His two loyal friends had actually been taking care of him and they hadn’t left his side for one minute, they had all ended up sprawled on the couch and laughing and do what they did best. Watch movies and have fun and poke holes in the worst B movies, they revelled in that the most. It made their days’ worth living plus all had the house to themselves most the days. His cousin, Spencer spent most his hours working and since he had been a doctor turned Federal Agent, the job became hard for him. They spent most of their times together though most times, Spencer at times took some days off just to lay around lazily with Stiles. Him being a former doctor meant that he would watch over Stiles and make sure he was okay, Spencer worried for his cousin more than he had ever let on which Stiles knew. Stiles and Spencer were exactly the same in some ways and the fact that he had become his favorite cousin out of all cousin made it a bonus. They enjoyed siding with each other and pissing off others, the brains of the Stilinski clan made it easier and more enjoyable.

There he sat with Logan by his side watching a marathon of Superhero movies, they all loved the movies which made it fun to watch them again whenever they could, he had been busy baking more lately and the cravings had begun a certain dislike in his appetite. He hated having to wake up in the middle of the night and get Nyx or Logan to get him something at stupid hour o’clock but neither of them had refused, they had always done with grace even when they had not slept over which Stiles thanked the gods they actually kept their phones on. Stiles had often wondered while he ate his food about Beacon Hills, he hadn’t disowned his friends, he could never disown them. He had in fact switched on his phone a few days ago and only then had he received all the worries and the cries that came with the text messages and the voice mails and in his shock, he had gotten one from Derek Hale as well which threw him off a bit. He had made a mental note to call the friends in Beacon Hills as soon as possible; he had sometimes gone so far as listening to the sad voicemails that they had left him. He had also received messages from Derek and a few voicemails which worried him some. There was a sudden pang of guilt and pain every single time he listened to Derek’s voicemails and then he felt sad.

As and Logan continued to watch the second Instalment of the Avengers, both of them had chosen sides and Logan had easily gone with Team Iron Man and he being Stiles had turned his sights to the winning side which was Team Captain America despite him knowing that with the Avengers anything was possible as well as his love for Iron Man. He had the power and most of his team were bad ass. Th, however, however, find themselves in the usual banter about their respective teams and usually, it wouldn’t go far than that. Stiles had nothing to hide to his friends except the supernatural and Beacon Hills. Stiles had bluntly refused any of his friends' entry to the town infested by the supernatural. He couldn’t leave with their blood on his hands, he would die from the guilt which would leave his cubs without a daddy and he couldn’t have that. He knew that Nyx was bad ass but this, he feared for both their lives.

Stiles heard the doorbell but didn’t move, something inside him made him fear whatever was behind that door like in some horror story, he felt Logan nudge him and murmur pointing towards the door. Standing up, he zipped up his new hoodie which Nyx had specifically bought for him which came with four others; it was bigger and baggier than usual hiding his stomach from anyone who wanted a peek at him.

Walking towards the door, he inhaled followed by a sigh letting out all the air he had been holding in. Opening the door, he knew his instincts or whatever they were called had been right. He should have hidden or better ran for the hills but as he stood there looking at his Beacon Hills friends and one very pissed off looking Alpha standing there but from the very moment Stiles seemed to lay his eyes on Derek, he could have sworn something had changed in Derek’s facial expression. Relief was there.

Stiles rolled his eyes moving aside allowing them all entry; he couldn’t have this argument or intervention outside where the world could hear “Hey guys.” For some reason that was all he could ever muster, he wondered whether his father had finally broken and told.

Logan’s voice broke the awkward silence “Stiles, come see your shit team.” Logan yelled from the living room with excitement and laughter “All Brawn but no brains, sad just sad. I’m sad for you.” Logan laughed which only made the wolves and banshee tense. He didn’t even look at Derek; the guy looked like he could kill just by the glares at Logan’s direction.

Stiles cleared his throat trying to defuse whatever could happen “Lo, shut up. Captain America will kick your Iron Man’s ass in a heartbeat.” That surely got the man quite making him turn his attention to the former pack “So guys, I’m seriously lost for words here so help me out. What are you doing here?” He tried to think whether his father had given up to Scott or maybe Lydia the woman could be very convincing and scary which made him shudder.

This time, however, the one who answered shocked even Stiles “We’re here to take you home”

Stiles looked at Derek confused and in shock, he knew this would happen hence why the secrets “How did you guys even find me?”

For some reason Derek hadn’t taken his eyes off of Stiles which made the human nervous in all kinds of ways, he couldn’t have another session of panic attacks he couldn’t deal with the kind of the stress that Derek brought with him and at the health of the cubs and himself he needed to stay sane “We should talk.” Derek looked at his oblivious mate.

“Scott, Lydia. You guys, okay?” He looked at them with a smile “Come on let me introduce you to a friend of mine” Stiles walked towards the living room “This is Logan, and Lo this is Scott and Lydia and that there is Derek.” Derek kept his eyes on his mate.

Logan looked away from the movie “Hey guys. Nice to meet you. We’re watching movies, sit and have fun.” Logan turned his head to Scott “It’s finally good to meet some of our Genim’s friend’s. He’s been climbing the walls without you. Nyx will love you” Logan grinned wickedly as he turned to the movie “Stiles if she kills me for letting you do whatever you wanted. I swear I’ll come back and haunt you. Just F.Y.I” He said.

*****

Stiles could smell his cupcakes in the oven, the only thing that he loved doing when he couldn’t think or shut his brain out was always baking or cooking but this time he had chosen baking, he had already baked a cake, butterscotch brownies, and fudge and now he was completing his baking. Looking at cupcakes through the mirror he cracked a smile, he smiled quite a lot these days which he had attributed to the pregnancy. As he turned from the oven he was met by Derek and the sight of the guy freaked him out however it also brought him a sense of safety which he didn’t understand where it came from.

“You look like shit, Derek. What’s wrong with you?” Stiles asked as he turned to look at his cupcake again.

Derek hadn’t ever thought he would ever find his mate, his scent alone made him want to jump his bones, however, he also hated that Logan knew so much of his mate than he did “You” He replied, he had taken Parrish’s advice on coming clean with Stiles.

“Me? I didn’t do anything to you”

Derek sighed “You left me, Stiles. I almost died because of you”

Stiles shook his head in disbelief “Funny because you’re standing right here. Derek, why are you here exactly? Because I’m not going back”

Derek whispered carefully not to spook his mate “You can’t ever leave me like that, Stiles. I almost died. I―”

Stiles breathed deciding to tackle the death statement first “Tell me how exactly I almost killed you because it’s insane. I haven’t seen you in weeks. What possible damage could I have done from here?” Stiles could feel himself get angry but he tried to contain himself, he wanted to finish this conversation before he exploded in front of the wolf and probably with him being pregnant he could claw the Alpha’s eyes out if he didn’t watch what he said.

Derek sighed closing his eyes for a second thinking of the right words. He couldn’t explain it but there was something different about his mate, something about him or rather a scent that he couldn’t place. A sweeter scent, alluring and inviting. He wasn’t about to lose him again though that he knew very well. He would grovel and beg if he had to because according to all the girls and the male’s in the pack that usually got their mates to forgive them and asking for forgiveness was the most important thing. He couldn’t let his mate stay far away from him, he needed him closer to him and the pack plus he wanted to show him just how he meant to him and more. He wanted to make him happy and most importantly he wanted to show him everything under the sun and the moon. He knew that bringing both Scott and Lydia could help ease his mate's forgiveness and also bringing those he loved could make Stiles’ anger towards Derek minimum, however, he wondered whether he should have also brought Isaac because of his mates’ love for him.

Derek sighed in defeat he may have been an Alpha but when it came to his mate, that title went straight out the window especially when he had been the one who hurt him in the first place. Derek was jealous of Logan the moment he knew just how much he had been there for his mate. The boy seemed not bothered by them but instead welcomed him, he could smell him on Stiles but he couldn’t argue with his mate just when he finally got to appease his wolf. His mate safe and sound and unharmed but before he could say another word, Derek heard the door open and shut and a female voice followed by boots walking their direction.

He caught Stiles’ facial expression as the female covered in tattoos’ walked in with smiles on her face, she instantly walked over to his mate hugging him something fierce which made Derek growl at the view in front of him. The female released his mate “You’ve got guests, babe.” Right there in that one moment, Derek couldn’t breathe. The thought of someone else that wasn’t him or pack touching what was his made his wolf see red but Stiles seemed to have seen or sensed it that because he slowly stepped back looking at the mirror of the oven while the female rolled her eyes playfully.

Stiles gave the female a smile “Nyx, this is Derek from Beacon Hills and in there with Lo is Scott and Lydia. Derek this is my good friend, Nessa.” Stiles smiled and suddenly Derek found himself wishing that Stiles could smile like that with him and the realization of the pain he had inflicted on his mate came to light, right there and then he knew he wanted to make sure that Stiles would smile at him the way he did a second ago. He needed to make things right between them.

Derek nodded but the female seemed to continue “Right, so your cousin is going out of town for a few days. Caught a case with the team so Logan and I sleeping over for a couple days, you need someone with you at all times and I basically don’t trust Logan since you can basically manipulate him to let you do things” Derek somehow stopped being jealous, he somehow knew he could like this girl but at the sudden thought of his mate living with two friends who rarely left his side and comforted and loved him and protected him more than he ever did hit him like a ton of bricks. It hurt, to say the least. “I, on the other hand, am immune to your charms, Genim. If you asked Logan to jump off a bridge, I swear that idiot would. Anyway, are your guests staying?” Nyx turned to look at Derek with a smile.

“The way things are going. I probably would guess so” Stiles said, “Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

Nyx shook her head with a happy grin “I’m a tattoo artist, babe. These few days will be my vacation and besides all clients can see someone else. You need me and I’ll always be there for you. I promised you. You know that I’d slay a dragon just to see you smile, babe.” She said and Derek caught that as an honest to god truth finding himself envious of her words “Good to meet you, Derek. I’ll go join Logan before he bores Scott and Lydia to death” She walked off humming.

 

 


	6. Wolf To My Ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stiles Stilinski finds out he is pregnant with Derek Hale's cubs. He has no choice but to leave Beacon Hills and start a new life away from the Alpha who has made it clear how he feels about him. While Derek has been denying his mating bond to Stiles, he is distraught when he learns the real reason behind Stiles departure. With Stiles nowhere to be found, Derek begins a spiral of self-loathing and blaming. Having pushed away from the one person that was meant for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so I really really would like to apologize to you all for taking so long to add this new chapter. It's been ready for weeks but for some weird reason, I couldn't for the life of me post it, I don't know I always thought like something was missing from this chapter every single time I would read it. Like something big but it never could come to me and so I kept stalling but no more of that. I'm really sorry guys. Anyway, I really hope it's okay, I hope everyone likes it. 
> 
> However, in this chapter, Derek gets to confess and then have Stiles go off on him. Stiles is hurt, really really bad and Derek broke him. Derek has a lot of hurdles to go for anything near to being forgiven but damn Stiles for his mood swings lol :P

Stiles should have been freaking out and maybe some, he couldn’t believe that Derek Hale had come all the way from Beacon Hills to simply put take him back home. He couldn’t understand why the wolf was so concerned about him, he also seemed to confuse Stiles a lot more since he, Lydia and Scott had arrived. Derek hadn’t once said anything stupid that would send Stiles into a talking frenzy, the wolf seemed to be watching him his every move which only made the man nervous as it is. But now there they sat in his cousin’s study mainly because Stiles refused to talk in his bedroom and settled for the study which was closer and wolves could not hear whatever Derek was going to explain. Stiles wondered exactly how he had ended up here, he shook the thought off looking at Derek pace looking uncertain which was only odd for the Alpha, Derek never paced let alone act nervous.

He watched Derek carefully before clearing his throat apparently snapping the Alpha out of whatever train of thought he had “Uh, Derek. You’re pacing” He said, “You wanna tell me what’s going on, buddy?” He said to the Alpha. He wasn’t sure how he had gone to this, one second ago he had been getting himself ready for a yelling match and now for some reason, Derek couldn’t explain.

Derek had practised in his head, word for word on exactly what he would say to his mate to make him believe him but as he looked at Stiles his muscles tense in fear, for so many years since he had met Stiles he had been rejecting the boy but suddenly there he stood, afraid of the same rejection “I need you to listen to me, alright? No snarky comments and no interruptions. Please” Derek said looking at his mate with pleading eyes which made Stiles nod making himself comfortable in the sofa which made Derek smile with pride “You wanted to know why I said that you were killing me. That’s true because Stiles when you left without anyone knowing you put my life on the line. You see an Alpha can not survive without their Alpha-mate; no wolf can ever survive without their mate once they find them and when their mate rejects them we go feral because we have nothing to live for anymore. So when you left me, Stiles I wasn’t myself. I was going to die because my mate left me. How could you leave me, Stiles? How could you leave the pack? Isaac even.”

Stiles shook his head; he didn’t understand “I never rejected you, Derek. How can I reject someone when I never knew what I was to them? We slept together but before that, you actually hated me or was that you pretending. I thought you hated me seriously I mean I can be very annoying. You never showed me otherwise unless you count the sleeping together part. You have no right to be mad at me for this, you treated me like crap for so many years, you treated me like I didn’t matter. You keep worrying about hurting everyone around you but instead, you’ve been hurting me. I left Beacon Hills, Derek, because I had to.”

Derek winced at the thought of his past transgressions; he hated himself for what he did to him but he wanted to make things up to him someway “Stiles, I love you. I can never hate my mate. I’m sorry for what I did to you in the past and the shit after that. Seriously I thought it would have been better for you and everyone if you stayed safe. I wanted to stay after that night but then I had gotten a call and I had to go. I didn’t mean for that to happen like that. “

By this time Stiles had gotten pissed just by the last sentence alone, he watched as Derek sat down while he stood up pacing and obviously by his voice he was trying to stay calm and not panic because he had just heard Derek Hale tell him he _loved him_ but Stiles wanted to get his thoughts out there, shaking his head in disbelief “I can’t believe this, Derek. I shouldn’t believe this because if I do I’m practically screwed or maybe I’m just dreaming and this is one of those dreams that I eventually die from. I had one of those before or maybe four or so of them. I knew I should have been worried, you’re obviously not yourself right now. You’re obviously someone else trying to torment me. You love me, seriously?  You turning a complete 180 is a complete shock to me and in just weeks of my absence. You never once came to me after you came back from whatever you were called to. You pretended like we didn’t happen.  You should have told me, Derek instead of keeping secrets from me. You shouldn’t have had to choose for me, you should have told me and let me make my own decision.” Stiles shook his head as he continued to pace forgetting about calm.

“Stiles….”                                                                                

“And then, and then you come and tell me that I’m your mate. Is this a joke or something? I should hope not because right now messing with a pregnant person would not be a good idea. I’d actually kill right this moment. Speaking of babies, did you know that I could get pregnant because of you? I mean imagine my surprise when one day I find out I’m pregnant with wolf babies. Wolf babies, Derek. They kick hard and they won’t let me sleep and I eat like there’s no tomorrow hence the baking because I crave sweet things. Logan always runs to buy me food because my cravings suck. I’m so screwed.” Stiles continued his ranting and babbling which gracefully Derek let him but when he heard babies his attention shot back.

“Stiles, what do you mean pregnant?”

Stiles rolled his eyes as he continued on his ranting “Oh, yeah some Alpha wolf you are. I’m pregnant and it’s all your fault. You did this to me” He stood there in front of Derek pulling his hoodie up exposing his bump but after a while, he let go and continue pacing “How could this happen, Derek? You knew, didn’t you? For the first time ever, I’m freaking out because you’re just staring at me like you’ve just seen a damn ghost.  What do you have to say for yourself, Derek Hale? Did you know? Yes or No, dude? I’m going to emphasize on dude because I know you hate that word. I’m a guy, Derek. How can I be pregnant? I have shit moods all day every day, morning sickness that sucks balls.” Stiles stood there hands on his hips.

“You―You’re pregnant with my..my cubs? “

Stiles made a face shaking his head annoyingly “You’re the only one I slept with, Derek. I better hope you’re not implying what I know you’re implying or so help me. I can’t believe you, for an Alpha you sure can be stupid. I’m not Kate Argent, Derek you need to get that in your head and maybe drum it in there. You keep imagining bad things to happen but you deserve nice things and you deserve to be happy. I may be pissed off at you right now but dammit you need to forgive yourself and move on. ” Stiles tucked his hands in his pockets “I left Beacon Hills because I thought you’d be pissed about the babies. I will never raise my children in a place full of hate and all that. I didn’t think you’d care so I spared you the trouble” He finished sitting on the chair. “I’m not finished. I’m thinking. I’m angry and upset at you, Derek. Honestly, I don’t know if I can forgive” He said.

“I’m sorry, Stiles” Those words alone made Stiles’ anger dissolve a little “I’m sorry. I almost lost you and our cubs because of my stupidity. I would have lost my cubs. I’m so sorry. If I had known I would have been there, Stiles. You have to believe that” Derek looked at his mate hopeful “Male pregnancy is rare but in Alpha-mates it is possible. I just have never seen one before you but rarest when it is a human male” Derek said almost in a whisper.

“I would have come back to Beacon Hills eventually. I didn’t run away. I just needed time to process all of this. Me being a dude who is pregnant scared me freaked me out actually and you weren’t there. You never told me this could happen to me.” Stiles said “There is no excuse though for you keeping secrets from me, killing you wasn’t in my plan and finding out our lives are basically entwined forever is new to me. You’re not out of the doghouse yet just so you know. You’ll have to convince me you actually mean every word and then I’ll consider forgiving you because this is not something you can forgive easily and I’m not talking about the pregnancy because I love them already. You put me through hell, Derek. You hurt me and made me feel unwanted and hurt. You broke my heart, Derek.”

Derek nodded intending on complying dropping to his knees in front of his mate holding his hands “I’ll spend forever trying to make up for what happened and the amount of pain I put you through but knowing that you’re willing to give me a chance to redeem myself is enough. You’re giving me something I never thought I could never have. You’re giving me a family of my own” Stiles could swear he saw a tear trickling out of Derek’s eyelids which made Stiles’ heart soften a little, he couldn’t help himself when he pulled Derek into him hugging him with a sigh of relief.

Stiles nodded after releasing Derek from the hug “Derek, how did you find me?”

Derek who still had to process the news of being a father, looked at his mate with a smile “I found you through our bond. Mates can find each other through the darkest of times, there’s a certain scent that mates smell like especially to their mates. You smell sweet...irresistible. I had forgotten about it until Deaton, he reminded me that I hadn’t lost you yet. I was weak through these few weeks without you. I was withering away and the pack could feel it. The pack felt everything. I couldn’t function without you” Derek said “Parrish knocked some hard truths into me. I should have told you, Stiles. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have compared you to Kate, I shouldn’t have kept this from you because it was for the both of us. I should have been there after that night, I should have told you how I felt then. I shouldn’t have left with the guys because if I hadn’t maybe…just maybe I could have convinced you to stay” Stiles could hear the hurt in those words, he could feel the pain and sadness he had gone through and Stiles didn’t like it. He wanted to fix it but for once he couldn’t “Please come back home” Derek’s words hit Stiles hard which sent tears running down his eyelids “Let me make this right, please let me take care of you and our cubs” Derek finished wiping away the tears on his mate’ eyes lovingly “Let me love you”.

Derek couldn’t see a future that didn’t have Stiles and their cubs, he couldn’t push him away anymore and he couldn’t deny his feelings anymore. He had admitted he loved his mate and his wolf had been pleased with the affection. His pregnant mate would need him more than ever, others taking care of what was his upset both him and his wolf despite the fact that he knew both Nessa and Logan friends of his mate it still bothered him, it made him want to mark his mate, scent him and let the world know he was taken. Derek wanted to make him happy in ways he never thought he would. He knew that he had a long way to regain his mate’s trust and love back but he knew he had to do it, he couldn’t lose his family, not without a fight. He couldn’t lose his mate, the only person who he loved more than the world itself. He would work hard every day to prove himself to Stiles, to prove himself worthy of his mate.

Derek knew he would have to reinstate his bond with his mate, ever since they had been separated Stiles hardly smelt like pack anymore instead he smelt sweeter, his scent intensified in his nose because of the pups. Wolves could smell him and know he smelt different, he knew Scott had smelt it from the moment he had walked into the house.

He looked at Stiles still processing the news; he hadn’t said a word for a full minute which worried him. He couldn’t have his mate worried especially since he was pregnant with both of their children.

Derek snapped out of his thoughts when he heard him speak in a whisper “You hurt me. I thought you didn’t want me.”

Those words hurt more than the hell he had endured searching but he needed to sooth and reassure his mate so he looked him in the eyes not breaking contact “I’ve always wanted you, baby. You’re mine, I will always want you” He whispered “I’m sorry about that. I was not in a good place then, I was battling with my demons. I was fighting the bond and I realize that was my mistake. After I lost so much, I thought I would never be able to find true happiness again but then you walked into my world and no matter how many times you saved us all. You were always under my skin.” Derek said finally opening up trying to make Stiles understand his actions however stupid they may have been.

Stiles nodded when Derek cupped his cheeks “You deserve nice things, Derek. You deserve to be happy but you have a lot of work to do to prove you mean everything. You have a lot of hurdles to go through till I forgive you. I need you to make me believe and trust you again. I need you to stop keeping secrets” Derek smiled unable to stop himself he leaned into Stiles planting a chaste kiss on his lips.

“I want to be happy with you,” Derek confessed hoping for a miracle.

 

 


	7. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Stiles Stilinski finds out he is pregnant with Derek Hale's cubs. He has no choice but to leave Beacon Hills and start a new life away from the Alpha who has made it clear how he feels about him. While Derek has been denying his mating bond to Stiles, he is distraught when he learns the real reason behind Stiles departure. With Stiles nowhere to be found, Derek begins a spiral of self-loathing and blaming. Having pushed away from the one person that was meant for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am so very sorry this took so very very long to even post but here it is. It's just that life took over and then everything shot to hell from there and well y'know. But I finally have this on lockdown so here is the newest chapter, I just only hope you like it.
> 
> Also, I created this little fun...tumblr. If you want to you can follow me and well ask me questions and I will try my hardest to answer :). Because this story is far from over :P https://theashesphoenix.tumblr.com/

The truth was always how much Stiles had hoped he could fall out of his crush with Derek or out of in love with him, he had hoped and somehow had found himself praying but that had never come true instead it had brought him closer to the wolf, he feared for most things in the world for their cubs but it soothed him knowing that the pack would be there for their children and most importantly both fathers would be there protecting them fiercely and proudly. It hurt some days to think of all the pain and the misery he had gone through in his hope of leaving the past behind, it hurt to think he could have done some horrible damage to Derek unknowingly He hadn’t meant to hurt him but he had to think of himself first. No matter how much he had felt, he still loved him even though those words hadn’t yet come out of his mouth with fear of such power. Stiles feared the entire birth because he didn’t know what to expect while Derek himself had heard from his parents about a male giving birth many decades ago. Stiles wished and prayed to God above that it wasn’t yet another folklore, he couldn’t handle such not with his condition he feared about making it through. He wanted to meet and raise his precious offspring’s.

Stiles had noticed ever since their ‘talk and confessions’ mostly from the Alpha, Derek had been keeping close. Stiles knew that he wanted to try and convince him and to show him the truth to his words which Stiles had let him, he had spoken with Scott who had been hurt with his leave but after a long while, they both had forgiven each other and Scott had told him all about Derek and his road to finding him everything that Derek hadn’t. Stiles knew that Scott had been happier with his Alpha again, he could feel it. Derek however protective and possessive he was of him now, Stiles could see the difference in the Alpha especially since learning about the cubs. Stiles felt a certain type of insecurity in him but whenever he felt like that somehow Derek seemed to sense it and would be at his side in an instant and Stiles couldn’t explain it. He knew their cubs' werewolves, they were children of an Alpha which made all the hype. He feared for their lives a lot, he wanted them to have normal lives and not meet the ‘Kate Argent’s’ of the world because pain and misery hadn’t been something both he and Derek wanted for them.

Stiles wished he could tell Derek everything but he couldn’t utter the words, he wished he could at least let him know that he returned his feelings with the three words that made everything make sense but he couldn’t. He couldn’t admit it to him when he had felt betrayed, abandoned, hurt and devastated like he had in the last months. He had felt so alone, abandoned and even then unsure. Where would he start? Where would they go from here? Stiles wanted to trust him again, he wanted him close to him and most importantly he wanted Derek to be part of the journey but his reservations had surfaced. The talk they had, had helped somewhat and a lot for Siles’ mentality. It had helped to know that he cared. Derek was the worst when it came to talking, Stiles knew this and even then he had cared still.

Derek sat on the couch reading a book called ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’, a book that Stiles had been reading. He wanted to know everything about being a parent and what to expect as the book said. He wanted to learn new things. He hoped he could at least be a good parent to his cubs that he would make his family proud. He hadn’t noticed when someone sat in the armchair alongside him until noticing the television change channels. He turned to look at Nessa who he hadn’t had the pleasure of talking to personally but then again Logan hadn’t appeared yet.

Without speaking to her he had caught on, he knew her and Logan’s overprotectiveness towards his mate, their love towards the babies and pride that shone whenever they looked at his mate. She was the Mama-Bear, he knew Stiles had told her everything and a number of times she had given him the ultimate stink-eye she hated his guts. He looked at her one more time before he returned to his book. From the very moment he had laid his eyes on her, he had known he would have to get in the woman’s good graces; she was the epitome of fear. The way she walked, held herself and her look told him just as much. Derek had felt something he couldn’t place about both Nessa and Logan, it felt different and every time he had glanced at them something always crept up at him.

“The book won’t swallow you whole, y’know.” Nyx said as she glanced at Derek.

Derek raised a brow but said nothing.

“You do know you didn’t just hurt him but you broke him,” Nyx said as she looked at the television often glancing at the other man who seemed determined not to look at her “I mean you didn’t just break him, you practically stomped on his heart and killed it”

Derek sighed; he knew that but as often as he was trying to show Stiles he meant everything he just couldn’t stop blaming himself because this had been his fault. He had caused this “I’m trying to fix that. Rewrite my wrongs and undo my mistakes with him”

Nyx kept on switching channels “Those are a lot of mistakes and wrongs to undo. Are you sure you can do that? That you can make things right again because as far as I know, you’ve been nothing but an actual asshole.”

“For him, I would do whatever it takes. I have to.” Derek replied.

Nyx nodded her head looking directly at Derek “That’s good, that’s good to hear. I like to look at people when they are talking to me about serious things, to actually get the honor of having to see what lies beneath. I like to see if they are lying, if they are lying to me or themselves it’s easier than a lie detector. I’ am a lie detector.” She watched the man carefully without a flinch or hesitation; she noticed his eyebrows and his facial expression “You don’t scare me, Derek. Your eyebrows and the stay-the-fuck-away-from-me look do nothing for me.”

Derek looked at the female “I won’t hurt him again. Ever. I made a million mistakes when it comes to Stiles and I know that. I felt that when I was suffering the separation. I know you are overprotective when it comes to him, I can see that. You and Logan seem unsure of me I get that.”

“You’re right, Derek. You won’t hurt him again, you won’t break his heart again and again and again like you have been doing for God knows how long and you won’t pretend like you don’t love him anymore because everyone knows the truth.” Nyx tilted her head not breaking eye contact “You won’t break him again because you see, Derek that boy who’s sleeping in that room right now means more to us than you could ever imagine. He and Logan are my anchors when it is dark for me, they are family and when you hurt family nothing ends right. They are my best of friends. Stiles is precious, special and unique” she breathed “I don’t like you, Derek. You hurt Stiles and by God, he will make me like you because he knows my opinions when it comes to you. He will never rest until I have liked you and I’ll cave because I want him to be happy. But you did hurt him, you destroyed him and you tossed him aside like some old chicken. Derek, hear me because I need you to remember these words, I need you to keep reminding yourself of my words. We are not afraid of you, We’ve taken on bigger guys than you are, special kinds of people and yet here we stand alive and breathing and healthy. You hurt him again; you so much as break his heart again and treat him like shit. We’ll skin you alive and make us a beautiful ass rug. You hurt him again and we’ll be in Beacon Hills and we’ll go hunting.” Nyx finished watching the man process her words. She never once bluffed, she rarely ever bluffed and when she did it saved countless lives. She hoped he took her seriously.

Derek’s jaw could have dropped had he not had self-preservation “Are you threatening me?”

Nyx snorted “Derek, you’ll know when I threaten you.”

Derek knew he should say something but his words seemed to stop mid-way but Nyx continued “You have a second chance, he is giving you a second chance at love and being an actual part of his life and your children’s lives. Don’t squander the chance to have everything you never knew you wanted or never knew you could have.”

“Do you think he will forgive me?” Derek asked sincerely.

Nyx seemed to think of her answer “In time he will forgive you because as much as he hates you and can’t forgive you right now. He loves you and always will no matter what happens. You need to show him that you want that forgiveness, that you want to be with him and that he is the only thing that matters to you. You have to let him know that you will never leave him again. Show him and tell him every single day”

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
